Boundaries are defined by thinking, feelings, and actions

Boundaries are displayed by two dogs that touch noses as each dog looks into the other dog's eyes.

Boundaries are defined by thinking—
including talents, values, attitudes, and conviction

Our talents are clearly within our boundaries and are our responsibility.

What we value is what we love and assign importance to.

We need to own our attitudes and convictions... They play a big part in the map of who we are and how we operate. We are the ones who feel their effect, and the only ones who can change them. The tough thing about attitudes is that we learn them very early in life. 

We must own our own thoughts. We must clarify distorted thinking.

Boundaries are defined by feelings—
including desires and delight

your feelings are your responsibility and you must own them and see them as your problem…

Our desires lie within our boundaries. “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Ps. 37:4).

Our ability to give and respond to love is our greatest gift.

We need to realize that we are in control of our choices, no matter how we feel.

Boundaries are defined by actions—
including behaviors, study, exercise, loving, and limits

Behaviors have consequences. As Paul says, “A man reaps what he sows” (Gal. 6:7–8). If we study, we will reap good grades. If we go to work, we will get a paycheck. If we exercise, we will be in better health. If we act lovingly toward others, we will have closer relationships. On the negative side, if we sow idleness, irresponsibility, or out-of-control behavior, we can expect to reap poverty, failure, and the effects of loose living. These are natural consequences of our behavior. 

we can… set limits on our own exposure to people who are behaving poorly…[2]

  1. Davenport, Barrie. “10 Ways to Establish Personal Boundaries.” LiveBoldAndBloom, 7 Nov. 2016,
  2. Cloud, Henry, and John Townsend. Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No. Zondervan, 2008. Chapter 2.

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